I Won't Complain

You know,

I had to think about how much I have a opposed to what I don't have. What a nightmare my life could be if I don't start doing so? I find that Satan likes to bring up the things you don't have or have lost so much he makes you feel helpless sometimes. You may not be a Christian which is cool but what Satan likes to do is destroy your innerself by reminding you of the hurt or the loss or the failures or the darkness in your life as opposed to the blessings. Daggone shame too. I read a great Christian sci-fi book by Frank Peretti and it was talking about how Satan uses complacency and guilt and sadness and loneliness and heart ache and confusion before he comes with the big guns like suicide and death and sickness etc. etc... etc.... Losing my Uncle just hurts. Hurts like someone beat me in the face with a brick. I know that he was an changed person. I know that God got a hold of him and forced him to see others more than himself. He wasn't always like that. That makes me reflect on the good, the blessings, the happiness, the joy, the straight comedy, the love he bestowed on so many.   I can say I won't complain.

I got a premonition from 3 people this year in January that this year was gonna be my year. I was gonna do some amazing things. Nothing happened either. Spring was whew... I ran outta that school when it was over but summer, was filled with loss. OMG. One day after the next just weird losses. I was so disappointed but thing is if God didn't have confidence I'd make it thru and make it thru victoriously, NONE of those things could have happened. I won't complain

2 days before his death, and 3 days after, I have struggled sleeping. Anxious every night. Feeling helpless and like there wasn't anything I could do. But you know what? My cuzzin, my Uncles son came to me and talked and shared and told me the stories of greedy people in the community and all of a sudden family who never had anything to do with him when he was sick all of a sudden wanna be front and center at the funeral. Shame. I shook my head but knew what a strong guy this LITTLE BOY I grew up with has become. God prepared him to deal with the madness. All of that was while a 55 or so year old dude walked in the house driving a car with the words... "SWEETNESS in bold caps on the front of his ride in metallic gold... Cah Moe Dee.... The family house is in his name and I'm good. Our family house will stay in our family at least for another generation. I won't complain

So I look around and think things over, I'm gonna stand a little taller tonight. I gonna sing a little louder. And just say thank you Lord. I won't complain anymore. You got this!!!!

I leave you all wtih this. I'm not the best. I'm not the smartest. I'm not the wisest. I'm not the prettiest. I'm me. I love me more than I can say now because I'm in the image of God. They made a man in their image and then made him a help mate to look like me to be a diva along side my man. I am sooooo thankful tonight for my family, my friends, my home, my opportunities, my experiences, my health, and all that goes along with those. When I look around... And a sista thinks things ova. I wanna say Thank Ya Lord... I WON'T COMPLAIN... WELL ANYMORE.

Dreams... Don't let them go!

Recently I had a dream I have waited on all of my life to fall. This dream was awesome. I finally had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with and he was awesome. However, it didn't work out. After all of the tears and pain, I changed course. God started working out my other dreams and I yielded to them. It made me think about how sometimes we hold on to one dream and when its not time or something happens we get hurt and get bitter or even give up on those same dreams. Well I'm here to tell you don't give up on your dreams. I wrote a song about the book of Ecclesiates. It was recorded and all but you may never get to hear it. It talks about how season's change. Spring Summer Winter and Fall all bring exciting experiences. I think if we were to focus on our lives like the seasons we would be much happier.

I believed in that dream and made every effort to stop it from not coming to pass. It ended, but it doesn't mean that my dream is over. He wasn't the right one and that's ok. I'm very strong willed. God showed me signs but I hadn't met ANYone that matched up to my expectations in so long that when he came I was wide open. I'm thankful too. It let me know that love is out there and being just a little more patient will bring the right one. Edris maybe... LOL. Who knows but one thing is for certain, I'm gonna be GREAT.

I then started getting some music together. I hadn't written in months. Actually a year has gone by and even though I wanted to write I felt stifled. LOL... God opened that door back up and ideas started flowing. You would have thought I'd still be holding on to that dream but I let that jokah go as soon as he walked out of the door. I grabbed a hold of a dream I had let go of months ago. I started feeding it again and it came to me with beauty and power.

Dreams... Hopes that turn into reality. Believing in something I am destined to do. I was not put here to waste away focusing on yesterday. I am here to provide something new for tomorrow. So things i created years ago and left alone came back into my mind. Ideas that I typed out but God wasn't ready for resurfaced and now my peace is in knowing its time for a different dream to come to pass.
Some of us are holding onto dead weight. You are in a job that drives you nuts or a relationship that is toxic. Could be just some bad choices that keep leading you down the wrong path. Well I'm here to tell ya, keep it moving. Life is too short to waste seconds focusing on junk that matters less than anything in this world. You are special. You are awesome. You are the most unique thing in this world. Sounds kinda arrogant and prideful but there could be 500000000 women in this world but only one me. Ha... So that makes me unique. I'm taking these next few weeks to capitalize on these realities. Standing taller. Working out. Sweating on this treadmill and keeping my spirit in tune with what God wants me to do. I encourage you to do the same.

Some of you may not have God but He sure wants you to. He doesn't always do the things we ask and that can be frustrating but he protects us and guides us even if we are too hard-headed to listen. Open your mind and heart to something new. A dream you had when you were a child. Maybe you used to write stories or draw. Pull out the paper and do something creative. Vangogh's paintings are revered around the world and they look like little kids pictures to me. I'm not an artist or enthusiast like that but I can say just do something with the dreams you have and let go of the dead weight.

Life is perfect. It's special. Its YOURS. Use it wisely.