I Won't Complain

You know,

I had to think about how much I have a opposed to what I don't have. What a nightmare my life could be if I don't start doing so? I find that Satan likes to bring up the things you don't have or have lost so much he makes you feel helpless sometimes. You may not be a Christian which is cool but what Satan likes to do is destroy your innerself by reminding you of the hurt or the loss or the failures or the darkness in your life as opposed to the blessings. Daggone shame too. I read a great Christian sci-fi book by Frank Peretti and it was talking about how Satan uses complacency and guilt and sadness and loneliness and heart ache and confusion before he comes with the big guns like suicide and death and sickness etc. etc... etc.... Losing my Uncle just hurts. Hurts like someone beat me in the face with a brick. I know that he was an changed person. I know that God got a hold of him and forced him to see others more than himself. He wasn't always like that. That makes me reflect on the good, the blessings, the happiness, the joy, the straight comedy, the love he bestowed on so many.   I can say I won't complain.

I got a premonition from 3 people this year in January that this year was gonna be my year. I was gonna do some amazing things. Nothing happened either. Spring was whew... I ran outta that school when it was over but summer, was filled with loss. OMG. One day after the next just weird losses. I was so disappointed but thing is if God didn't have confidence I'd make it thru and make it thru victoriously, NONE of those things could have happened. I won't complain

2 days before his death, and 3 days after, I have struggled sleeping. Anxious every night. Feeling helpless and like there wasn't anything I could do. But you know what? My cuzzin, my Uncles son came to me and talked and shared and told me the stories of greedy people in the community and all of a sudden family who never had anything to do with him when he was sick all of a sudden wanna be front and center at the funeral. Shame. I shook my head but knew what a strong guy this LITTLE BOY I grew up with has become. God prepared him to deal with the madness. All of that was while a 55 or so year old dude walked in the house driving a car with the words... "SWEETNESS in bold caps on the front of his ride in metallic gold... Cah Moe Dee.... The family house is in his name and I'm good. Our family house will stay in our family at least for another generation. I won't complain

So I look around and think things over, I'm gonna stand a little taller tonight. I gonna sing a little louder. And just say thank you Lord. I won't complain anymore. You got this!!!!

I leave you all wtih this. I'm not the best. I'm not the smartest. I'm not the wisest. I'm not the prettiest. I'm me. I love me more than I can say now because I'm in the image of God. They made a man in their image and then made him a help mate to look like me to be a diva along side my man. I am sooooo thankful tonight for my family, my friends, my home, my opportunities, my experiences, my health, and all that goes along with those. When I look around... And a sista thinks things ova. I wanna say Thank Ya Lord... I WON'T COMPLAIN... WELL ANYMORE.